Empty Arms and Broken Hearts

I found this video on another bloggers site and I HAD to share.  I can relate to it in so many ways, even though I  was able to get pregnant, it still took us a while and I can relate to every bit of this video. I feel lucky that I was able to get pregnant and my chances of getting pregnant again are higher than they would be if I never had gotten pregnant, but even after all that Mark and I went through this last year, we still have no baby, nothing to show for it except empty arms, broken hearts and the never ending pile of medical bills.  We may never able to have a healthy baby. I may never get pregnant again, or I may get pregnant again only to have another miscarriage, we just don’t know.

Again, it’s the fear of the unknown  that eats at me every second of everyday. Even though I haven’t experienced years of infertility as some couples have, I did experience it for 8+ months, I have felt what it is like, I have taken countless negative pregnancy tests, I have been told I cant have children without help, I have endured many tests and exams, I have sat in that waiting room full of glowing pregnant women, I have been in that cold exam room and been told horrible news, I have left the doctors office crying and feeling absolutely hopeless time and time again,  I have been told that I lost my child.   I have sat in my car and cried uncontrollably and asked God why, not knowing what the point of waking up tomorrow was. I have collapsed in my husbands arms, mad at myself for leaving him to be the strong one. I walk by the room that would have been our nursery everyday, I have  felt the despair and sorrow and even though there is hope for me in the future, I know what it is like.  My heart goes out to every single couple who has gone through infertility as well as lost an unborn child,  there are many of us but so few people truly understand. We are so much stronger than we are given credit for. 

Please watch this  amazing video so you can get a little taste of what this journey is like.

http://www.tearsandhope.com/emptyarms_video.html

Until Next Time…

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