I’m sure a lot of you have heard of all the ridiculous things that people will say to you when you’re pregnant, or you have already experienced it for yourself. There should be a rule book on what NOT to say to a pregnant woman. As if us women already don’t experience enough pressure from society to be perfect before we are pregnant, the pressure only seems to get greater when we start the journey of motherhood.
I have never really been too self-conscious; I was very active in my younger years and continued to live a healthy lifestyle after college. However, when you get pregnant you are going to gain weight and you are going to have many “fat mornings” and I have experienced a few of them. I’m not sure if infertility and the loss our first little bean is what has changed my view on these fat morning but I look at them as “Blessed Mornings”. Sure, there are some women who look better than others do while they are pregnant, they can still pull off cute looks and not gain much weight at all and then there are some of us who just blow up and don’t look or feel too cute at all, but when it comes down to it, we are all doing something that not everyone can do. We are assisting God in creating a miracle, so who cares if you look good in those jeans, or if that shirt makes you look fat?! God chose you to carry that baby and no matter how you think you look, you are carrying the most precious gift of love and life and I just don’t see what could mean more to you than that.
We already have to battle with our own insecurities and it doesn’t help when strangers or inconsiderate people make comments about your belly/weight gain. I know that I put myself out there for criticism when I post weekly pictures on my Facebook and blog tracking each week of my pregnancy. I know that not everyone is not trying to be mean and may just speak before they think, but I encounter a lot of people every day who are malicious and contentiously try to steal my joy. Here are some of the things I hear:
“Wow Katie, you are really starting to blow up!”
“Gosh Katie, your stomach is really sticking out now.”
“Wow, you have grown since yesterday.”
“I can’t believe how big you are getting!”
“Oh, you’re due in March? You look like you’re about to pop!”
“Wow, my daughter is due the same time you are and she’s not even showing yet!”
“Oh you’re expecting? I thought you were just gaining weight”
Now on the flip side of these ridiculous comments I also am told that I am so tiny, or I don’t look pregnant at all etc etc. So which is it? Even for someone who has self-confidence this can easily make you think twice. We start to compare our bellies to other pregnant women or even worse celebrities’ and that can just be so damaging to our self-esteem. I’m guilty, I do it every week. I read countless blogs and look at other baby bumps to see if theirs looks like mine or to see how much weight Kate Middleton gained during her pregnancy and guess what? None of them do, because none of them have my exact body and are carrying MY baby. Women carry babies in all different kinds of ways, some carry them low, high or throughout their entire belly. Some of us have more amniotic fluid than others, and babies are all different sizes. Heck, even the position of your baby can make your bump look bigger one day and smaller the next!
Luckily, I have had some eye-opening experiences that have allowed me to see clearer and focus on the miracle at the end of the journey. I have never been happier in my life and a little weight gain here and there will never change that. I constantly have an ache in my heart for all my friends and women around the world who are still waiting on their miracles or for the women who lost babies in the womb. I think about all the nights I spent crying wishing for nothing else than a child of my own.I continuously wonder why I was so lucky and given the chance to carry this baby and not them.
I also know that not every woman has the same outlook as I do. It’s so unfortunate we have to encounter rude people when we are going through a life changing experience and our bodies are already changing so much not to mention our hormones are out of whack.(Watch out!) My advice to all of you moms-to be out there are any time someone tries to make you feel bad about yourself, or you don’t recognize that person in the mirror anymore just remember that tiny life inside of you. That baby doesn’t care what you look like, or how much weight you gain. After all is said and done your love for that baby is what will mean more to you and them than ANYTHING else.
So bring it on belly haters, this mama is ready for you!
Until Next Time…