What a year this has been. The more I sit back and reflect on this year I realize what a roller coaster I was on. Around this time last year is when we finally decided to seek help to have a child. We had been trying about a year and I was starting to lose hope. After many weeks of testing the doctors came to the conclusion that I did not ovulate and that we would need to seek another way to become pregnant because it would not happen naturally. This was devastating news to me, as I was already feeling hopeless. Never in a million years would I even think that I could possibly battle infertility, but there I was facing it head on and willing to do ANYTHING for my miracle. Much to our surprise, our prayers were answered and I conceived naturally the same month I was told it would never happen with our fertility drugs. We were so overwhelmed with joy and I was told I was due beginning/middle of October and I remember thinking how far away that seemed but I didn’t have a worry in the world.
Unfortunately around the time I was 8-9 weeks pregnant, we went in for a routine ultrasound and found out that we had miscarried and I will NEVER forget that day. As bad as that day was, and the weeks following, this was when I found an inner strength I never knew I had. I had no CHOICE but to move on and move forward for my future child. Every day, week, month after the miscarriage was a constant struggle for me and I was at the lowest point in my life. After a D & C, we regrouped and I started on oral fertility drugs and the doctors told me that I had 3 chances (months) to conceive with the oral drug and if it did not happen, we would look into another method of conception. After two failed months, I was positive it just wasn’t going to happen and made an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist to see what our next step would be. Some times, I go back and read all my blog posts during this awful time and its surreal to me just how raw my pain was. My patience was tested so much during this process and I just felt like I was never going to be a mother.
But again, to our surprise little Beckham was conceived during our last chance and I will never forget the moment I saw the two pink lines for the second time. I had never felt such happiness and fear at the same time. I knew that this pregnancy would be tough on me, maybe not physically but mentally and that it was, but as I look back I am proud of Mark and I and how close we became and how much stronger our marriage is (if that’s even possible). I cannot believe that I am in the homestretch of this pregnancy, and only have 2 months left until I finally get to hold the miracle I have been waiting for my entire life. That will be one sweet moment I tell ya! 2014= Motherhood for me, bring it on!!
Although 2013 started off being the worst year of my life it was filled with a lot of happiness.
Here is a recap of my top moments:
All things Beckham:
Surprising Mark with the best news ever!
First glance of our sweet boy.
Moving into our first home together.
Adding a 2nd Fur Baby to our family, our sassy but sweet Miss. Penelope.
I also am thankful for our not only our health but our family and friends as well. We have had a few scares with both of my great grandmothers these last few months, and although I know the inevitable, I cherish every moment I have with these two. I only hope that Beckham will be able to meet both of them because these are two very special ladies in my life and although he will never get to really know them, I want him to have the pictures where their memory can live on with him forever.
So I guess it’s safe to say I experienced the lowest and highest point of my life this year. Mark and I have been blessed this year with more than we deserve. We have our health, our families, our home, our jobs, our pups and our happiness. I cannot wait for 2014 and to start off the year as a family of 3!
I hope & pray that 2014 is the year for all of my friends battling infertility. Love you all!
Happy New Years!
Until Next Time…