I can’t believe that today marks 1 year that Mark and I sat in the doctors office and found out news that would change our lives forever. A miracle was ripped from my hands that day and I have never been the same since. Although, I have done a lot of growing and so much positive has happened since that day…I still refer to it to as “That Day” basically, the worst day of my life. The next worst day of my life was February 25th 2013, the day that I had the surgery to remove the pregnancy. As these anniversary’s came upon us, Mark and I talked about how ironic it would be if Beckham were to be born on one of these days. At first, I couldn’t stand the fact of thinking of his birthday being on one of those days, for they are forever embedded in my head now. The more I started to think about it I started to see the positive in this all. I still would rather him not come on those days (he only has a few hours left if he is going to come today) but if he did, it really would be something special in a way. It’s hard to believe that a year later we are due in 10 days with our second miracle baby. If I could go back to myself that day and flash forward as I sit here and write this with Beckham kicking away….it would have been so much easier. But at the same time, I don’t know if I would have understood the true meaning of my journey to where I am today.
Yesterday was a interesting day to say the least. I woke up to what I thought was my water breaking, but I wasn’t 100% sure. I decided to go into work until my doctors office opened to call them. (Also, I felt obligated to go into work today because they were throwing me a baby shower..what are the chances?) Of course when I called they wanted me to come in, so I left work(missed the baby shower) they checked me and ran some tests. The doctor found some traces of amniotic fluid so she wanted me to go to the hospital for further testing. Of course I start to freak out a little..I felt so many emotions!
I didn’t want Mark or my mom leaving work until I had some definite answers, so I went to the hospital and got all hooked up the monitors. At first it looked as though it was really happening, my contractions were 1-2 minutes apart and my blood pressure was very high, so the nurse told me she was pretty sure they were going to admit me and induce me. I kept wondering if I would be in labor for hours upon hours and he would end up being born today (that day) As scared as I was, I was so ready!! Unfortunately after a few hours of watching my contractions and doing lots of blood work they didn’t feel that my labor was in the “active stage” yet and the bloodwork ruled out any chance of preeclampsia. I was pretty bummed knowing I was going home, I felt like it was all a tease. I went home and kicked my feet up, little did I know I had a long night ahead of me. My contractions got stronger, sometimes almost unbearable and lasted all night but still never reached the 3-5 minutes apart. I decided to stay home from work today since I was so exhausted and still feeling pretty uncomfortable, but man do I hate sitting around doing nothing. I have had a few other things going on that all point in the directions to him coming soon( I’ll spare you and leave those details out) so who knows what this weekend will bring. I could have my little man in my arms or I could be sitting back at my desk on Monday morning, but on the bright side of things..I still have my little man healthy and flipping around inside of me and I cannot ask for any more than that! So with that being said, I am going to enjoy today for I am far more blessed than I deserve!
Until Next Time…